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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Cowboy Hat is Probably Just Another Term for Deena's Kooka: Week 1 Points

What's happening Kookas?

It seems like just yesterday we were waxing our chests and taking our blow-outs to South Beach yet we're somehow tallying up points for Week 1. It all goes by so fast. It's why you have to cherish every greasy, depraved moment.

I think we all thought the Situation was going to carry the week after seeing him say a form of Situation 8 times. A first week fight is unheard of! The safe thinking was to star Situation or whomever your big bat is because Week 1 is a wash and no one really scores big. I think it's safe to say you can throw out your standard Fantasy Reality Television Handbook: Jersey Shore knows no rules. But I digress. Here's the breakdown:

Jwoww and Sammi fought for 15 points (10 x1.5 roommate multiplier)

Situation said "Situation" 8 times.

Snooki said "I'm in Seaside, bitch" once (1 point), and Guido (1 point), Situation (1 point) and Smoosh (1 point)

Deena stripped down for a new point category inaugural 3 nudity points.

DJ Pauly D said "Situation" twice.

Ron and Vin put up goose eggs. (Deena may be the only person to take her clothes off and start a fight and still get no points. JS breaks all the rules (CORRECTION: I completely forgot we added a new nudity point category. my b to Deena teams)

In list form:

Sammi: 15 points
Jwoww: 15 points
Situation: 8 points
Snooki: 4 points
Deena: 3 points
DJ Pauly D: 2 points

Week 1 Starting Line-ups and points:

@poloshot: Situation star (16), DJ Pauly D (2), Jwoww (15)
@mattsisto: Situation star (16), Sammi (15), Vinnie (0)
@ckalange: Situation star (16), Deena (3), Snooki (4)
Andy S: Deena star (6), Snooki (4), Jwoww (15)
@NotPinnock: Situation star (16), Ron (0), DJ Pauly D (2)
@MikeDashin: Deena star (6), Ron (0), Sammi (15)
Frog: Snooki star (8), Ron (0), Vin (0)
Owen: Ron star (0), Snooki (4), Deena (3)

Week 1 Team Scoring:

@poloshot: 33
@mattsisto: 31
Andy S: 25
@ckalange: 23
@mikedashin: 21
@NotPinnock: 18
Frog: 8

Big Board After Week 1:

1st) 33 points (@poloshot)
2nd) 31 points (mattsisto)
3rd) 25 points (Andy)
4th) 23 points (@ckalange)
5th) 21 points (@mikedashin)
6th) 18 points (@NotPinnock)
7th) 8 points (Frog)
8th) 7 points (Owen)

And that wraps up Week 1's Score Post. Who are you starting this week? Toss up for Star between Vinnie and Jwoww/Sammi if you have them. But I've said too much already. The new roster situation (1 point) is going to lead me to play my card's close to my wife-beater. That's just how the Situation is Situated.

Oh, one last thing: "I don't give a fuck. I will attack you like a squirrel monkey." That is all.


  1. What's amazing and I think something we should discuss is just how powerful the star position is. For instance, this week is totally nullified when people inevitably star Snooki the week of her arrest and receive 100 points for it. That just seems like a lot of points, no? I suppose that's part of a solid draft strategy too and I'm just griping because I don't have Snooki. Anyone looking to trade Snook for Sammi? Anyone? Hello? Anyone?

  2. I didn't know you had to start people. Too bad that Sami was on my bench for probably the only interesting moment she'll have all season.

  3. Yeah, I don't think anyone saw that first week fight happening. And yes, you have to pick one star and two other starters. Star players get double points.