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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Week 9 Point Breakdown: It's T-Shirt Time

Greetings JSFL peeps-

Aside from the Situation posing and getting himself jacked up before calling his lady friend this episode was pretty dull. Let's get right into it:

Jwoww was the point leader for week 8 with 20 points. She made out with her ugly bf for 5 points and they smooshed for 15.

Angelina scored 9 total points. She brought home a random from the beach (5 points) and started crying on the phone with her mother (4 points)

The Situation scored 7 points. He made out in the club (5 points) and said "Situation" twice (although I'd argue he should be awarded a hundred points for each time the laundry woman said "el Situation" because it was hilarious)

DJ Pauly D scored 2 points for saying "situation" twice.

In List Form:

Jwoww: 20 points
Angelina: 9 points
Situation: 7 points
DJ Pauly D: 2 points

Week 9 Team Points:

@wickedcoolmatt: 29
@mollymsmisth: 29
@poloshot: 20
@robertageorge: 16
@ckalange: 9
@mattsisto: 7
@notpinnock: 2
@handyslunch: 2

Big Board after 9 Episodes:

1st) @ckalange (395.5)
2nd) @mattsisto (390)
3rd) @handyslunch (365)
4th) @notpinnock (361.5)
5th) @robertageorge (344.5)
6th) @poloshot (321)
7th) @wickedcoolmatt (292.5)
8th) @mollymsmith (263.5)

A few topics worth discussing:

1) I think we should consider a point category for characters spending nights in the same bed. Ronnie and Sam spend almost every night together in the Smash Room yet they almost do not exist on the point sheet. The same would hold true for Snooki spending the night with Vinnie, Angeline and Jose, and anyone else. It won't count for as much as a hook-up but it should be represented somewhere, maybe with 3 points.

2) I've been defining a random person as someone whose first appearance on the show leads to them coming back to the house. Angelina meeting that random dude at the beach counts; Pauly D bringing back Rocio (I think that's her name) after having been out with her numerous times does not count. I think you'll agree however that there is a grey area in there. For instance, this week the Situation is going to invite his lady from the club bathroom over to smoosh. Is she a random now?

Obviously the only way we can add point categories is with the approval of at least 50% of the league. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Hugs and smooshes.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pre-VMA Show Point Breakdown: That Looks Like a Really Creepy Scene Out There

It's a double post day for the #JSFL. Here's what I've got point-wise for the Pre-VMA Episode followed by some hilarious quotes. It was a great quote ep if not a high scoring one.

DJ Pauly D was the MVP with 28 points. He brought home 2 randoms (5 pts each), smooshed one of them (15 pts) and said Situation three times (1 pt each)

The Situation put up 12 points. He made out with someone in the club (5 pts), brought a random home (5 pts) and said Situation twice.

Angelina scored 11 points. She made out with one of her dudes (5 pts), brought one home (5 pts) and said Situation once (1 pt). I didn't count her as having smooshed the random because there wasn't any evidence that she did, either them in bed or him leaving in the morning. The last thing you saw was him on the couch with her drinking out of the red solo cups.

Ron-Ron said Creepy once (1 pt)

Jwoww called her bf once (1 pt) and told him she was going to make some meatballs and go to sleep.

Vinnie, Snooki, and Sammi all put up 0's.

In List Form:

DJ Pauly D: 28 pts
Situation: 12 pts
Angelina: 11 pts
Ron-Ron: 1 pt
Jwoww: 1 pt

Pre-VMA Team Points:

@ckalange: 40
@handyslunch: 28
@NotPinnock: 28
@mattsisto: 13
@RobertAGeorge: 12
@wickedcoolmatt: 12
@MollyMSmith: 12
@poloshot: 2

Big Board After 7.5 Weeks:

1st) @ckalange (386.5)
2nd) @mattsisto (383)
3rd) @handyslunch (363)
4th) @NotPinnock (359.5)
5th) @RobertAGeorge (328.5)
6th) @poloshot (301)
7th) @wickedcoolmatt (263.5
8th) @MollyMSmith (234.5)

I'd like to congratulate @ckalange for knocking me off the top of the leaderboard after a 3 week reign of terror.

Here are some great quotes from this episode that I just had to put down:

"We hear you like to visit the Staten Island dump this time of year." -The Situation, to Vinny, about Angelina

"It's like a broad: you can borrow it but you've got to bring it back." Uncle Nino

Uncle Nino referred to Mike The Situation as "Mike Sanitation" which just about killed me.

"That looks like a really creepy scene right now." -Ronnie about everyone in the hot tub

"I went to the doctor, he told me to stop drinking, stop doing drugs, stop having sex. You know what I did? I switched fucking doctors." -Gross Drunk Uncle Nino (who I hope becomes a recurring character)

"Ask them if they're DTF. Don't waste any time. It's Saturday night." -The Situation. This one blew my mind because I can't imagine myself ever in a club somehow asking someone if they were in fact "DTF." Ahh, excuse me, I was wondering if there was a chance that later maybe you and I could, um, ah, uh, ahh, nevermind. Then again, I'm not week 7.5 MVP DJ Pauly D.

Be well. See you Thursday for what looks like a solid episode. I just hope Ron-Ron starts drinking more Ron-Ron Juice or @ckalange is going to be tough for anyone to beat.

Week 7 Point Breakdown: Vincenzo is King of the Smoosh

Greetings Jersey Shore Fantasy League,

It's about five days late but below is the point breakdown for last Thursday's episode (the second half of the fight/not the one before the VMA's) Again, sorry it took so long to get it up, I've been partying pretty hard. If my timing happens to be off at all in terms of when exactly these things happened you'll have to forgive me: I scored it on Friday but am trying to recap it on Tuesday. Anyways, no more excuses.

It pleases to no end to announce that Vinnie is the Week 7 MVP with 60 points. He made out with one random in the club (5 points), made out with her at home (5 points for the makeout, 5 points for bringing a random home) and then he hooked up with her (15 pts) Later in the episode, he made out with Angelina in the cab (7.5 pts) and then smooshed her for 22.5 points. Solid points for Vincenzo.

Snooki also had a monster week with 45 points. She brought home two randoms (5 pts each), smooshed both of them (15 pts each) and had a in the club make-out (5 pts) The two randoms were the guy from the night before (no longer added as a random point after the first night) and his man-grenade friend. I've also given Jwoww credit for that random because he was coming over to see her.

Angelina scored 30 points for making out with Vinnie (7.5) and then smooshing with Vinnie (22.5)

Jwoww put up 25 points. She no-showed at work (5 pts), fought Sammi (15 pts for same sex fight w/roommate), and with Snooki brought home the random man-grenade who was coming because she was there.

Sammi put up 22.5 points. 15 for fighting Jwoww, 7.5 for making out with Ron-Ron in the club.

Ronnie got 7.5 points for making out with Sammi in the club.

DJ Pauly D said Situation once (1 pt)

The Situation put up a big 0

In List Form:

Vinnie: 60 pts
Snooki: 45 pts
Angelina: 30 pts
Jwoww: 25 pts
Sammi: 22.5 pts
Ron-Ron: 7.5
DJ Pauly D: 1

Week 7 Team Points:

@NotPinnock: 106
@MollyMSmith: 100
@wickedcoolmatt: 77.5
@handyslunch: 68.5
@mattsisto: 67.5
@ckalange: 61
@poloshot: 55
@RobertAGeorge: 37.5

Leader Board After 7 Weeks:

1st) @mattsisto (370 points)
2nd) @ckalange (346.5 points)
3rd) @handyslunch (335 points)
4th) @NotPinnock (331.5 points)
5th) @RobertAGeorge (316.5 points)
6th) @poloshot (299 points)
7th) @wickedcoolmatt (251.5 points)
8th) @MollyMSmith ( 222.5 points)

Going to watch Sunday's Ep and score it this afternoon. Be well.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Episode 6: The Fight (the first half anyways)

Hello all, going to make this pretty brief because I'm on my iPad and it's not fun to type. Enough about me, here's the breakdown:

The Situation was once again the MVP with 32 points. He brought home a random (5 pts), made out with her in the cab (5 pts) hooked up with her (15 pts), made out with another girl at the club (5 pts) and said "situation" twice (1 pt each).

Snooki had a big week with 27.5 points. She hooked up with Vinnie (22.5 with the 1.5x multiplier) and flashed the camera (blurcles) on the patio for 5 points.

Vinnie hooked up with Snooki plus he said "situation" and "little situation" for a total of 24.5 points.

Sammi scored 23 points for fighting Jwoww (10 pts same sex fight with the 1.5x roommate multiplier) and she cried twice (4 pts each)

Jwoww scored 17 points, the Sammi fight (15) plus calling her bf twice (1 pt each). Not sure where that bf has been this whole time but whatever.

Angelina made out with DJ Pauly D (7.5 with the roommate multiplier), brought home a random (5 pts) and said Situation once (1 pt)

DJ Pauly D put up 11.5 points with the Angelina make out (7.5) and having said Situation four times (1 pt each)

Ronnie put up 0 points for the second week in a row.

In List Form:

The Situation: 32
Snooki: 27.5
Vinnie: 24.5
Sammi: 23
Jwoww: 17
Angelina: 13.5
DJ Pauly D: 11.5

Week 6 Team Totals:

@ckalange: 68
@NotPinnock: 63.5
@handyslunch: 62
@MollyMSmith: 58
@mattsisto: 56.5
@wickedcoolmatt: 53.5
@robertageorge: 45.5
@poloshot: 40

Leaderboard through Week 6

@mattsisto: 302.5
@ckalange: 285.5
@RobertAGeorge: 279
@handyslunch: 266.5
@poloshot: 244
@NotPinnock: 222.5
@wickedcoolmatt: 174
@MollyMSmith: 122.5

What I take away from this leaderboard is that it still is anyone's game. I certainly don't think anyone is comfortable on top of the leaderboard and, as happy as I am to lead another week, Ronnie slowing down scares me.

Have a great weekend folks, drink some Ron-Ron Juice because nothing is better at getting the party started.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Fight Post

I assume at this point you're all as excited about Jwoww/Sammi I (I'm hoping it's a series of fights along the lines of Ali/Frazier but for our generation) so I thought I might as well give a full fight breakdown as if these two were boxers. I'll admit a large part of this is that the last fight I saw was Cotto/Foreman and that was months ago so I'm kind of hurting for boxing talk.

Sammi is a huge underdog in this fight. Jwoww is looking more muscular than we've seen her look in the past and she's been talking about fighting pretty much every episode. We've also had some evidence that she's actually training as a fighter: "I'm putting vaseline on my face, and then I'm kicking her ass" and when the Situation mentioned having seen her at the gym working the heavy bag. Not many girls I know do that.

We also know a good bit about what to expect when Jwoww fights. There were two instances last season that are telling because they were both completely different and showcased two different attributes of Jwoww's technique. You may recall the first fight in a bar when some girl called Snooki fat. Jwoww pushed the girl, circled so she had plenty of room behind her to maneuver, and proceeded to grab the girl's hair with her left hand, pull her head down so she couldn't see, and then work her with about five well placed upper-cuts to the jaw/face area. What can we take away from this exchange? The first thing is that Jwoww's ring awareness spot-on. Moving away from objects to minimize the chances of losing her balance is as important in Jersey Shore fighting as staying off the ropes is in boxing. Secondly, Jwoww had a fight strategy. Her hair-grab-upper-cut combo looked well practiced and in this case was extremely well executed. Bottom line: Jwoww stomped this girl and it's too bad the victim was blurcled because I would have liked to see the result of Jwoww's uppercut combo.

The second fight was really just a punch but it again speaks volumes about Jwoww as a fighter. Last year in Atlantic City the Situation had Jwoww forcibly removed from a club. She was waiting for him when he got back but because Vinnie was in the way she couldn't get to the Situation. While Vinnie was pushing her away she managed to slip half her body away and with the backside of her left hand knuckled the Situation right in the jaw. Hard. Jwoww knew that she wasn't going to get in a hard right but, sizing up the situation (no pun intended), she managed to land a fully extended back-hand (with her offhand!) directly to the jaw. This speaks again towards her ring awareness but also to her precision as a puncher. She fully extended her arm and backhanded him with very little time to place her punch. The time factor is what's most interesting: she knew exactly how far away she had to be to land the punch so she allowed Vinnie to push her into the other ring and, at exactly the right moment and distance, she turned to land the punch. I just can't get over how mentally steady she is in a fight.

At this point you may be thinking that Sammi has no chance but there are a few things we should consider first.

Sammi has a huge reach advantage. And sure, Jwoww probably could neutralize that with some strong ring generalship but it's not just going to be the two of them. Stamped Snooki is right in the middle trying to break them up and stop the fight. This works hugely to Sammi's advantage. Depending on the reach difference it's possible that Sammi could land punches on Jwoww and that Jwoww might not be able to reach her. I could see Sammi landing punches on Jwoww (throwing them over Snooki) while Jwoww tries to grab at her without success.

We also have to consider that Jwoww is fighting because she likes to fight. Sammi is going to be legitimately angry. She's been shit on by Ronnie for 5 episodes. Her two alleged friends conspired to lie to her and then called her weak. At this point she probably assumes like everyone else that there's something between Jwoww and Ronnie. She is going to be angry. What does this mean? She has something to fight for and at a certain point even ring-generalship and technique should be scared of someone fighting with all of their emotions. It just may catch Jwoww off guard. Jwoww probably doesn't expect Sammi to even fight her so when Sammi comes at her HARD there's a chance Jwoww doesn't have time to adjust.

However, if Jwoww does adjust it's curtains for Sammi. I'm not saying she has no chance but Jwoww is a strong opponent. My decision: Jwoww wins in round 4 after the fight is stopped by the roommates. If the guys aren't around though, this one could go the distance. We shall see.