Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Ron-Ron Juice Gets the Party Started: Week 7 Points
What's up my Kookas? Let's get these points down! Big action this week. From the Commish:
Subject: Points-Points Gets the Party Started
So, kind of a weird episode this week. A whole lot going on, but not many points. I meant to write this recap right after watching the episode, but I got distracted by something shiny, so a few of my feelings have been forgotten. A few highlights for your beloved Commish:
The triumphant return of Ron Ron juice (maybe when you're looking to fight, you shouldn't be carving a watermelon with a huge knife, looking to blend it with a lot of vodka)
One of my new favorite moments in the show's history: when the fight between Ron and Sam spilled into the smush room, mostly for Ronnie yelling ?I'm gonna fuck three bitches in this bed, and I'm gonna fuck the shit out of them!?. Stay classy, Ron Ron
J-Woww's sex attire. Wow. I wish I had seen that before I met her on Wednesday, though I'd probably end up stammering or panting or... um... visibly aroused. So probably for the best.
Snooki's analogy of the bed and the doorway: does anyone honestly believe her 'pinhole' is as small as she asserts?
That's all I have for the moment. Let's get to points.
At the risk of angering Charlie for the 972nd time this season, I've decided to award the break-up points this week. There was too much evidence at the start of the show that they still considered themselves a couple. Ron and Sam, as such, were the biggest point winners (with Sam crushing it by crying so goddamn much!), with not too much support fro the remaining players:
Sammi : (58): cried a lot (7 times by my count) (4x7), broke up (20x1.5)
Ronnie : (42): cried thrice (4x3), broke up (20x1.5)
J-Woww : (15): sexytime! (15)
Michael : (1): said ?Situation? once (1)
Sadly, that's all the scoring this week. Next week very well could be similar, with a Ron-centric show and no Sam. We'll see how long she's gone, and whether he leaves. Could be an interesting change of dynamic if they're gone for a while.
Finally, today is two of my favorite holidays in one: Pitchers and Catchers, and the anniversary of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. I hope you enjoy the day by watching old baseball footage, and the History channel movie about the massacre narrated by Paul Sorvino (showing this afternoon at 3pm/est).
Benediction no affliction,
So how does it all shake out? Let's do this thang.
Week 7 Line-ups and Points:
Frog: Sammi star (116), Ronnie (42), Snooki (0)
@mikedashin: Ronnie star (84), Sammi (58), DJ Pauly D (0)
@ckalange: Sammi star (116), Situation (1), Deena's Kooka (0)
@mattsisto: Sammi star (116), Situation (1), Vincenzo (0)
Owen: Ronnie star (84), Jwoww (15), Snooki (0)
@notpinnock: Jwoww star (30), Ronnie (42), DJ Pauly D (0)
@poloshot: Situation star (2), Jwoww (15), DJ Pauly D (0)
Andy: Deena's Kooka star (0), Jwoww (15), Snooki (0)
Week 7 Team Scoring:
Big Board after Week 7:
1) 582 points (Frog)
2) 561.5 points (@ckalange)
3) 447.5 points (Owen)
4) 434 points (@mattsisto)
5) 427.5 points (@mikedashin)
6) 382.5 points (Andy)
7) 349.5 points (@notpinnock)
8) 334.5 points (@poloshot)
Some final thoughts:
What a swing on the leaderboard! In one week the entire pack has come within 100 points (except for the teams over 500 who are have been taking Ron-Ron Juice to the dome-piece. A little housekeeping though too.
I was thinking about my roster for this week and how with Sammi Sweetheart gone I will not be able to bench anyone. How are we going to handle this rule-wise? Because it is a distinct advantage to not have any players to bench (even if Pauly D I useless this season). But rolling for the rest of the season just with team MVP doesn't seem so bad. I'm hoping we can have a civilized discussion either on the twitter or in the comments section below.
Be well, get some kooka.
Posted by Matt at 2:12 PM