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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

DJ PAULY DIZZLE: Week 10 Points

What's up #JSFL Kookas?

This happened so long ago I'll try to remember the events of the episode for you: Sam, Ron and Snook put cheese in the King of Comedy's bed; I think Jwoww micturated (pee-peed) on the street; DJ Pauly D came back swinging with 50 points. Here's the Commisioner's email:

Subject: Higher Scoring than Mike on an STD Test

Hey boys hey boys hey boys!

Sorry for the delay this week. I was calling doctors trying to find out if you can get an STD from head. I let a guy suck me off for some crack, and considering the looks of that bum, it may have been a bad idea.

But enough jokes about crippling drug addiction. Let's move to something far less healthy - The Shore House!

The only issue I need to discuss this week: Has that impostor known as 'Paul' finally been thrown over by DJ Pauly D?!? It's too early to tell after one episode, but the DJ threw up a YUGE WEEK, DOGGIE. YUUUUUUUGE WEEK. (That's a little Francesa humor for @NotPinnock). Fortune favors the bold - and I, for one, could not be happier that Your Commissioner started the DJ this week. On that note, on to scores:

I gave J-Woww 'public indecency' points for her street pee. Note to @mattsisto - can we add some sort of public urination/defecation points for next season? (speaking of excrement, I'm so glad the clogged toilet is gone from our lives. What a terrible addition to the show. Almost as bad as Angelina) As such:

Jenni - 5 points: (public indecency=5)
Snooki - 4 points: (cried=4)
Mike - 21 points: (said Situation=1)+(brought home a random=5)+(mouth-smushed=15) [commish note - in the interest of equality, Mike got smush points for the BJ, just like Deena did for the cunning linguist]
Vinny - 25 points: (brought home a random=5)+(made out=5)+(smashed=15)
DJ PAULY D!!!! -50 points: (brought home two random=5x2)+(made out twice=5x2)+(banged twice=15x2)

No points this week for Ron, Sam or NG.

I'm sure someone will complain about the scoring, but I'm satisfied. And all-powerful. So, yeah.

Sorry about the very long - and very dirty - post this week. I'm bored as hell in morning class.

Benediction, no affliction
The One and Only Commish


Week 10 Line-Ups Yeeaaahhhhh

@poloshot: Vinnie star (50), Situation (21), DJ Pauly D (50)
@notpinnock: Ron star (0), Situation (21), DJ Pauly D (50)
@mattsisto: Vinnie star (50), Situation (21), Sammi (0)
Andy: Vinnie star (50), Snooki (4), Jwoww (5)
Frog: Vinnie star (50), Snooki (4), Ronnie (0)
@ckalange: Situation star (42), Snooki (4), Sammi (0)
Owen: Snooki star (8), Ronnie (0), Jwoww (5)
@mikedashin: Deena star (0), Ronnie (0), Sammi (0)

Oh Yeah Week 10 Team Scoring Yeeeeeaahhhhh

@poloshot: 121
@notpinnock: 71
@mattsisto: 71
Andy: 59
Frog: 54
@ckalange: 46
Owen: 13
@mikedashin: 0

Big Board After Week 10:

1) 713 points (Frog)
2) 672.5 points (@ckalange)
3) 551 points (@mattsisto
4) 523.5 points (Andy)
5) 520.5 points (@poloshot)
6) 514.5 points (Owen)
7) 458.5 points (@mikedashin)
8) 437.5 points (@NotPinnock)

I will try to blog points as I get them. Hopefully we can catch up for the finale in two weeks so we know who to root for/against. Still pretty stagnant in the top two positions but third place is very much up for grabs.

That's how the situation is situated.

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