Google Analytic

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Moving Right Along

Hello my friends and Kookas-

It is with a mix of regret and gratitude that I write the final entry on this blog. We're migrating over to wordpress because it offers more options and room for growth into our site as we build it from the ground up.

We've had such good times with this blog! It seems like just yesterday we were watching JS Miami and arguing about threesomes. Leaving this blog is like saying goodbye to an old car. The time has come though. The air conditioning and transmission just gave out. Here are some links:

Our new blog:

Our twitter:

Our Facebook Page

And finally you can always email us at:

Thanks so much for playing. Hopefully we'll see you on the other site. That's the Situation.


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Numbers Post

What is up my #JSFL kookas?

It feels great just writing that. What better way to get excited for another season of reality television fantasy league than with a hard look at Jersey Shore stats. With that in mind I present you the reader with the 2011 Draft Cheat Sheet. Enjoy that situation.

We're going to break this post up by athlete, analyze their strengths and weaknesses, scoring averages, points per minute, etc... Three graphs for each individual: Miami, Back to SeaSide and both. I've also calculated a percentage chance for scoreless episode, represented as CSE. Lots of good stuff. Let's get to it.

The Situation

13.98 Points Per Episode (hereafter PPE)
.331 Points Per Minute (hereafter PPM)
346.5 Points
8% CSE

When we talk Situation we're talking consistency. He had the fewest goose eggs for both seasons (2), led the league in Miami in points per episode (17.08 PPE), finished in the top 50% back in seaside PPM (.259), and a league leading 13.98 PPE over-all. Perhaps most spectacularly, the Situation has a 8% chance of putting up no score with his 2 goose eggs in 25 appearances. Let's get a visual representation of his scoring:


Back to Seaside

Both Seasons

Also consider that The Situation is the second place over-all point leader with 346.5 points. I think The Situation is a building block, like drafting Peyton Manning or Kobe four years ago. You're not going to kill anyone but you can build a team around a well-rounded point effort. If you want to talk all-out scoring blitz though...

Sammi Sweetheart

13.915 PPE
.331 PPM
350 Points
28% CSE

Looking at these numbers has absolutely blown my mind. Everyone, myself included, has written off Sammi as some long-legged Ron accessory but she has crushed him and everyone else in the league. She's the clubhouse scoring leader with 350 points, over both seasons she's averaged 13.915 PPE (second only to the Situation), and tied the Situation with a leading .331 PPM. I've seriously been questioning even sharing this post with you guys in case someone decides to take her in the second round and I lose my chance. Here are the graphs:


Back to Seaside

Both Seasons

The one draw-back to Sam is that when she stinks, she stinks hard. In the end of the Miami season she put up 4 consecutive goose-eggs so if you're relying on her to win a weekly match-up you could get screwed. Statistically then she has a 28% chance of putting up a score which is scary if she's your stalwart. Caveat emptor. Want to talk risky JS stock?


11.46 PPE
.272 PPM
285 total points
44% CSE

I think we all know what happens when the Ron-Ron Juice starts flowing. Here we have a guy capable of an arrest-free 50 point outing who has to face the contradiction of a bottom four PPE and an absolutely abysmal CSE. With Ron you get the chance of a big episode but you also have the almost 50% chance that he will do nothing. Simmons' league is absolutely misguided taking Ron anything other than bottom of the barrel second round pick. Even then I'd stay away. Better value elsewhere.


Back to Seaside


Just look at all those zeroes... Now let's talk consistency but low upside.

DJ Pauly D

10.22 PPE
.239 PPM
252 points
20% CSE

Anyone who has had DJ Pauly D on their team will tell you that he is the single most frustrating player in the league. Every night he's in Karma you can't help but think that he could hook up with all the trashbags in there. Yet his average points speak to his poor performance. 6th place PPE and 6th place total points. I think we're all waiting for the DJ to finally put up the numbers we know he's capable of. He had one 50 pt outing last season. Too little too late.


Back to Seaside

Both Seasons

Unless DJ Pauly D starts putting up numbers I'm not sure he's anything better than a third round pick, however much I might enjoy his television company.


11.585 PPE
.272 PPM
290.5 points
32% CSE

Ever since our first draft during which Snooki was off the board by the 4th pick I thought she was over-rated. She's 4th in over-all points (290.5), has an average PPE, PPM and CSE, and annoys the bejesus out of me. Basically the only reason she's so popular is because she got punched in the face and then shit-canned on the beach. Not impressed. Still a second round pick.


Back to Seaside


You know who is solid though?


12.2 PPE
.287 PPM
303.5 points
28% CSE

The Vinshow lived up to all hype last year: we billed him as the guy with a lot to prove who doesn't creep out the girls and gets a lot of tail and he did just that. How his repertoire will play with the Italian girls who (maybe) have no idea who he is is anyone's guess. But with Vinnie you get a consistent scorer with a low CSE and an above average PPE. He's one of three players to rack up more than 300 points and in a good week can be a great role-player and chick slayer.


Back to Seaside


Vinnie isn't attractive though. Which is just a clever tie in to the resident sexpot...

Jenni Jwoww

7.505 PPE
.174 PPM
189 points
36% CSE

Oh Jwoww, when I first saw you I thought my reality television dreams had finally come true. Here was a bodacious, slutty looking girl who loved to fight, who threatened to pray on men like a mantis, who wore no clothes and swore and drank like a sailor. And then she got one boyfriend. And then she got another. Intermittent scoring, lots of goose eggs, an absolutely atrocious 189 points. When I see Jwoww I see wasted potential that I'd like to hook up with. It's sad.


Back to Seaside

Both Seasons

I'm still sad. Speaking of people I'd hook up with...


13.1 PPE
.251 PPM
131 Points
8% CSE

Angelina's time was too brief. I shouldn't even cover her but I do specifically to high light the worst player in the league. See Angelina's CSE? That's tied with the Situation. Check that PPE? Not too shabby over ten episodes. Here's a graph:


Most important: look at her point total. That's 131 points over ten episodes. . Let's turn to...


4.34 PPE
.103 PPM
56.5 points
48% CSE

So basically Deena is the worst. You could double her points and she'd still fall short of Angelina's mark. We all thought going in that Deena would be a blast in a glass. She's quotable but quotes don't put points on the board. If she's not the last person on the board I'll be shocked.

Alright y'all. That's enough for now. I have the spread sheet though so at some point in the next week or so I'm going to do a few team comparisons, look at the successes and failures, examine bench/star plays, etc...

But for now...

That's the situation.

Matt Sisto
#JSFL President and CEO