Dr. Situation: Week 8 Points

Deena's Kooka gets the party started. Now Let's get some points up in this bitch.

Here's the Commissioners weekly accounting:

Subject: The Melo Shore

Other alternatives:
MELOOOOO IS HERRRRRRE
Melo Melo Juice Gets the Party Started
Melo and the STATuation
I'm in the Garden, Bitch!

So, moving away from Melo (who will put up a much higher scoring average for the rest of the year than DJ Pauly D), I just realized that I've had last week scored since Friday, but never sent it in. I'll get to points in a second, but first:

QUESTION FROM THE COMMISH: Is this the best quote in the history of the show?
"Some days, I'm Uncle Situation, Doctor Situation, Chef Situation, Bang-Your-Girl Situation. I'm a pretty deep dude."

I don't know about you, but if my uncle is also my doctor and my chef, that's OK. But I'd rather he not bang my girl. But I'm not as deep as Mike.

Moving to points:
Snooki ? (25): made out (5), brought home random (5), smush (15)
NG ? (4): cried (4)
Sam ? (4): cried (4)

Ron ? (12): cried three times (4x3)
Paul ? (1): said 'situation' (1)
Mike ? (7): said 'situation' seven times (1x7)
Vin ? (27): said 'situation' twice (1x2)(I'm including 'snitchuation' in this), brought home random (5), made out (5), smush (15)

Two points:
One, what does it say when Sammi (who we all thought was GONE for the week) outscored J-Woww (who was very much on the show?). Weak week.

Two, I am of the policy that smush points should be awarded liberally. I know we've fought over this, but that's clearly established policy. As such, I think there's sufficient evidence that two bonings were likely this week: Snooki and Vin. Vin is less clear, but when you're making out in your bed with the lights off and the shirt off, trying desperately to get Sitch to leave you the fuck alone, I think you probably got it in. Until MTV makes a premium version where you get to see the action for $9.95 per episode (interesting business venture?), its clues like these which will constitute my interpretation.

That's all from me this week. Remember...
YEAH, UH HUH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS: STAT AND MELO, STAT AND MELO, STAT AND MELO, STAT AND MELO.

Yours,
Commish

************

I'm with The Commish on the liberal scoring. Like any other sport the JSFL is most fun when people are putting up big points. Now let's break it down.

Week 8 Line-ups and Points:

Andy: Snooki star (50), Vinny (27), Deena's Kooka (4)
Frog: Ron-Ron star (24), Vinny (27) Snooki (25)
@poloshot: Vinny star (54), Uncle Situation (7), Jwoww (0)
@ckalange: Snooki star (50), Dr. Situation (7), Deena's Kooka (4)
Owen: Ron-Ron star (24), Snooki (25), Deena's Kooka (4)
@mattsisto: Chef Situation star (14), Vinny (27), DJ Pauly D (1)
@mikedashin: Ron-Ron star (24), Deena's Kooka (4), DJ Pauly D (1)
@notpinnock: Jwoww star (0), Ron-Ron (12), DJ Pauly D (1)

Week 8 Team Scoring:

Andy: 81
Frog: 76
@poloshot: 61
@ckalange: 61
Owen: 53
@mattsisto: 42
@mikedashin: 29
@notpinnock: 13

Big Board after Week 8:

1) 658 points (Frog)
2) 622.5 points (@ckalange)
3) 500.5 points (Owen)
4) 476 points (@mattsisto)
5) 463.5 points (Andy)
6) 456.5 points (@mikedashin)
7) 395.5 points (@poloshot)
8) 362.5 points (@notpinnock)

**********

So there we have it after 8 weeks of Jersey Shore Fantasy League action. The guys in the top spot are in a league of their own right now but an unexpected big week from DJ or Ron could change that in a one week swing. Meanwhile the chase for third place is a four man race right now. @NotPinnock is going to have to make some smart roster decisions to keep himself in it. It's always crunch time in the JSFL.

Sometime in the next week or so I'm going to break down bench/star stats for each team to try to see if any teams have an edge having to sit or start any star players. There are probably ten-12 episodes left.

Are teams with Ronnie screwed?

Is it just coincidence that teams that played Pauly D consistentely finish in the bottom of the leaderboard?

That last one was a rhetorical question. DJ Pauly D is more like DJ Disappointment

That's the situation, my Kookas. I'll see you soon with more dirty JSFL action.

Dr. Situation.

Ron-Ron Juice Gets the Party Started: Week 7 Points

What's up my Kookas? Let's get these points down! Big action this week. From the Commish:

Subject: Points-Points Gets the Party Started

So, kind of a weird episode this week. A whole lot going on, but not many points. I meant to write this recap right after watching the episode, but I got distracted by something shiny, so a few of my feelings have been forgotten. A few highlights for your beloved Commish:

The triumphant return of Ron Ron juice (maybe when you're looking to fight, you shouldn't be carving a watermelon with a huge knife, looking to blend it with a lot of vodka)

One of my new favorite moments in the show's history: when the fight between Ron and Sam spilled into the smush room, mostly for Ronnie yelling ?I'm gonna fuck three bitches in this bed, and I'm gonna fuck the shit out of them!?. Stay classy, Ron Ron

J-Woww's sex attire. Wow. I wish I had seen that before I met her on Wednesday, though I'd probably end up stammering or panting or... um... visibly aroused. So probably for the best.

Snooki's analogy of the bed and the doorway: does anyone honestly believe her 'pinhole' is as small as she asserts?

That's all I have for the moment. Let's get to points.

At the risk of angering Charlie for the 972nd time this season, I've decided to award the break-up points this week. There was too much evidence at the start of the show that they still considered themselves a couple. Ron and Sam, as such, were the biggest point winners (with Sam crushing it by crying so goddamn much!), with not too much support fro the remaining players:

Sammi : (58): cried a lot (7 times by my count) (4x7), broke up (20x1.5)
Ronnie : (42): cried thrice (4x3), broke up (20x1.5)
J-Woww : (15): sexytime! (15)
Michael : (1): said ?Situation? once (1)

Sadly, that's all the scoring this week. Next week very well could be similar, with a Ron-centric show and no Sam. We'll see how long she's gone, and whether he leaves. Could be an interesting change of dynamic if they're gone for a while.

Finally, today is two of my favorite holidays in one: Pitchers and Catchers, and the anniversary of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. I hope you enjoy the day by watching old baseball footage, and the History channel movie about the massacre narrated by Paul Sorvino (showing this afternoon at 3pm/est).

Benediction no affliction,
Commish Amsterdam

*************

So how does it all shake out? Let's do this thang.

Week 7 Line-ups and Points:

Frog: Sammi star (116), Ronnie (42), Snooki (0)
@mikedashin: Ronnie star (84), Sammi (58), DJ Pauly D (0)
@ckalange: Sammi star (116), Situation (1), Deena's Kooka (0)
@mattsisto: Sammi star (116), Situation (1), Vincenzo (0)
Owen: Ronnie star (84), Jwoww (15), Snooki (0)
@notpinnock: Jwoww star (30), Ronnie (42), DJ Pauly D (0)
@poloshot: Situation star (2), Jwoww (15), DJ Pauly D (0)
Andy: Deena's Kooka star (0), Jwoww (15), Snooki (0)

Week 7 Team Scoring:

Frog: 158
@mikedashin: 142
@ckalange: 117
@mattsisto: 117
Owen: 99
@notpinnock: 72
@poloshot: 17
Andy: 15

Big Board after Week 7:

1) 582 points (Frog)
2) 561.5 points (@ckalange)
3) 447.5 points (Owen)
4) 434 points (@mattsisto)
5) 427.5 points (@mikedashin)
6) 382.5 points (Andy)
7) 349.5 points (@notpinnock)
8) 334.5 points (@poloshot)

***********

Some final thoughts:

What a swing on the leaderboard! In one week the entire pack has come within 100 points (except for the teams over 500 who are have been taking Ron-Ron Juice to the dome-piece. A little housekeeping though too.

I was thinking about my roster for this week and how with Sammi Sweetheart gone I will not be able to bench anyone. How are we going to handle this rule-wise? Because it is a distinct advantage to not have any players to bench (even if Pauly D I useless this season). But rolling for the rest of the season just with team MVP doesn't seem so bad. I'm hoping we can have a civilized discussion either on the twitter or in the comments section below.

Be well, get some kooka.

Face Down, Ass Up: Week 6 Points

What up, #JSFL kookas?

Points from two weeks ago (the week where Ron got his ass examined) are finally here. First, the Commish' official statement and scoring:

Subject: "Why is Ronnie bleeding out of his ass? I have no Idea."

"Why is Ronnie bleeding out of his ass? I have no idea"
Maybe my favorite quote in history.

So, interesting assortment of points this week. Aside from the Deena smush, no real action to speak of. However, if you watch carefully, you'll notice a ridiculous number of randoms being brought back to the house. That, my friends, is where most of this week's points come from.

First, a quick note on judgment calls. I gave Pauly points for bringing home a random in Danielle. I think that, considering they have never smushed, are not in a relationship, and weren't speaking a few episodes ago, her appearance at the house was 'random' enough to qualify this one time. Also, minor note: I gave Sitch one point for being late to work, based on the fact that he was asleep when the girls decided to leave him because they didn't want to get in trouble. It's a safe assumption that he was late that day.

I'm also not giving break-up points this week. This is typical Sam-and-Ron bullshit. It happens every couple of episodes. But I am willing to let it go to an overrule vote.

That said, POINTS ARE HERRRRRRRE!!!

Sitch: 21 - Random x 4 (5x4), late to work (1)
Ron: (5) - Puke (5),
Vin: (5) - Random (5)
DJ: (10) - Random x2 (5x2)

Sam: (5) - late to work (1), cried (4)
Jenni: (1) - late to work (1)
Snooki: (11) - Make out x2 (5x2), Random (5), late to work (1)
NG: (25) - Make out (5), Random (5), Smush (15)

Finally, I will be going on Wednesday to the Borders Books in Columbus Circle to get my copy of The Rules According to JWoww signed by the author, the lovely Jenni Farley. If anyone is in the city and wants to come, please let me know.

Face down ass up
Commish

*************

Week 6 Line-ups and Points:

@mikedashin: Deena star (50), Ron (5), DJ Pauly D (10)
@ckalange: Snooki star (22), Deena (25) Sammi Sweetheart (5)
@NotPinnock: Situation star (42), Ron (5), Jwoww (1)
@poloshot: DJ Pauly D star (20), Vinnie (5), Situation (21)
@mattsisto: Vinnie star (10), Situation (21), DJ Pauly D (10)
Owen: Snooki Star (22), Ron (5), Jwoww (1)
Frog: Vinnie (10), Snooki (11), Ron (5)
Andy: Vinnie (10), Snooki (11), Jwoww (1)

Week 6 Team Scoring:

@mikedashin: 65
@ckalange: 52
@notpinnock: 48
@poloshot: 46
@mattsisto: 41
Owen: 28
Frog: 26
Andy: 22

Big Board after Week 6:

1st) 444.5 points (@ckalange)
2nd) 424 points (Frog)
3rd) 367.5 points (Andy)
4th) 348.5 points (Owen)
5th) 317.5 points (@poloshot)
6th) 317 points (@mattsisto)
7th) 285.5 points (@mikedashin)
8th) 277.5 points (@NotPinnock)

That's how the Situation is situated. Congrats to week 6 point leader @ckalange. I'll be getting to the most recent episode right now. I just have to watch it first.

Someone Needs to Blow the Grenade Whistle on Sammi and Ron's Relationship: Week 5 Points

What's up JSFL Kookas?

A pretty eventful week. I really thought we were finally going to see the end of Rommi. Unfortunately for Ronnie owning teams and anyone who enjoys watching single Ronnie in action, we're going to have to keep waiting and watching those two lying in bed together. Alas. Here's the Commish's email:

Subject: Points in a Glass

God, I have so many thoughts about last night's episode. First off, I was so close to giving Ron and Sam breakup points (thinking that this was when she left the house), only to have it turned around overnight. Going by last year's standard, that is not a breakup.

Second, quite a few close judgment calls that I had to make. I will explain them all. Following the twitter consensus, I'm giving Sitch smush points. Also, J-Woww is getting smush points, for possibly the first ever smush-but-no-makeout scorecard. I'm also awarding Vin makeout points for the girl with the crazy uncle, because while we didn't see anything, they were moving in to each other, then cut to uncle, then a pull away. That said, I'm flexible on this.

The last judgment call was awarding J-Woww points for bringing home a random. We had this discussion last year, and my feeling is that if you're not a roommate, a bf/gf from home, or an established couple to the point that we would award break-up points, you qualify as a random - ie. Roger. Again, though, I would listen to dissent.

Finally, the scorecard doesn't have anything for "Likes to lick ass", so sadly, Deena goes points-free this week.

Let's get to it!
Ronnie - 38: cried twice (4x2=8), got in girl/guy fight with roommate (15x1.5=22.5), made out with roommate (5x1.5=7.5)
Sam - 42: cried thrice (4x3=12), got in girl/guy fight with roommate (15x1.5=22.5), made out with roommate (5x1.5=7.5)
Mike - 20: brought home random (5), smashed (15)
Vin - 10: brought home random (5), made out (5)
Paul - 5: brought home random (5)
j-Woww - 20: brought home random (5), smashed (15)
Snooki and Deena - 0

Looks like I put up a resounding 60... yay?

Best,
Commish Amsterdam

*********

My response to the Commish's questions:

Yeah, I think we're going to have to wait for Sam to move out before we can award break-up points. I'm not sure how you qualify "one day at a time" point-wise. I'm with you there Mr. Amsterdam.

It's a tough call with Vin's makeout. I'm going to go to the tapes to review because I can't remember it too well. Superficially I'd say if they dont' show it it doesn't count but let me look again in slow motion zoomed in (control-scroll) before offering my final thoughts there.

I think Jwoww gets the random points for sure this week but I think once they smoosh it stops being random. Like, if she brings him home next week he's not a random. We did the same thing with Pauly and Rocio last year. First night back is a random, every time after that, not so much. I guess the rule of thumb is just return visitors. Last year I also scored it for Vin the first time he brought home that girl, but then after beach day she was no longer a random.


********

So I think that should settle things. Any other questions or comments are welcome in the comments below. Let's situate some points in this situation.

Week 5 Starting Line-ups and Points:

Frog: Ronnie star (76), Vinnie (10), Sam (42)
@NotPinnock: Ronnie star (76), Situation (20), Jwoww (20)
@ckalange: Sam star (84), Situation (20), Deena (0)
@mattsisto: Sam star (84), Vinnie (10), DJ Pauly D (5)
@mikedashin: Deena star (0), Sammi (42), Ronnie (38)
@poloshot: Vinnie star (20), Situation (20), Jwoww (20)
Owen: Deena star (0), Ronnie (38), Jwoww (20)
Andy: Deena star (0), Vinnie (10), Snooki (0)

Week 5 Team Scoring:

Frog: 128
@NotPinnock: 116
@ckalange: 104
@mattsisto: 99
@mikedashin: 80
@poloshot: 60
Owen: 58
Andy: 10

Big Board after Week 5:

1st) 398 points (Frog)
2nd) 392.5 points (@ckalange)
3rd) 345.5 points (Andy)
4th) 320.5 points (Owen)
5th) 276 points (@mattsisto)
6th) 271.5 points (@poloshot)
7th) 229.5 points (@NotPinnock)
8th) 220.5 points (@mikedashin)


And that's how the situation is situated. Congratulations to Frog on his first stop atop the leaderboard. Interestingly enough we've had a different leader every week. I should start writing these right after the episode ends btw. I have absolutely no idea what happened on the "next week on." Which is almost better in a way. I think I'm better when I just trust my Jersey Shore gut and let the Situation situate himself in Karma to bring home those points. Unless Vinnie situates them for himself first. I'm out!

Ugly Tom Stole My Fossil Watch: Week 4 Points

What's the situation #JSFL? How you living?

I'm on a roll. Let's bang out these scores from last week's ep in which Jwoww breaks up with her ugly boyfriend. That's about all I remember so this leaderboard is almost like a surprise present for me. I hope I got something good. Here's the Commish' email:

Subject: It's points TIIIIMMMME

Quiet scoring this week, though my girl came on ok. Let's get to it.

J-Woww - 32: left work (3), called her boyfriend (1), broke up with him (20), and cried twice (4x2)
New Girl - 12; made out (5), and kissed a girl (7)
Vin - 1: said "situation" (1)
Snook - 9: left work (3), made out (5), and said "guidette" (1)

No points for Ronnie, but Fake Ronnie made out for 5 points. I'd love to somehow work auxiliary characters into the game: Danny the Boss, Fake Ronnie, The Stalker. It would be epic.

GTL
Commish Amsterdam

****************

Ruh-roh. No points for Sitch or DJ? Not looking like a good situation for team MVP'S. Anyways.

Week 4 Starting Line-Ups and Points:

Andy: Jwoww star (64), Vinnie (1), Deena (27)
@poloshot: Jwoww star (64) Situation (0), Vinnie (1)
Owen: Deena star (54), Jwoww (32), Ron (0)
@ckalange: Deena star (54), Situation (0), Snooki (9)
@NotPinnock: Ron star (0), Situation (0), Jwoww (32)
@mikedashin: Deena star (54), Sammi (0), Ron (0)
Frog: Snooki star (18), Vinnie (1), Sammi (0)
@mattsisto: Situation star (0), Vinnie (1), DJ Pauly D (0)

Week 4 Team Scoring:

Andy: 92 (77+15 smoosh pts)
Owen: 86 [56+(15 smoosh pts x2)]
@poloshot: 65
@ckalange: 63 [33+(15 smoosh pts x2)]
@mikedashin: 54 [24+(15 smoosh pts x2)]
@NotPinnock: 32
Frog: 19
@mattsisto: 1 (Situation star instead of Vinnie, -1pt)

Big Board after Week 4:

1st) 335.5 points (Andy)
2nd) 288.5 points (@ckalange)
3rd) 270 points (Frog)
4th) 262.5 points (Owen)
5th) 211.5 points (@poloshot)
6th) 176 points (@mattsisto)
7th) 140.5 points (@mikedashin)
8th) 113.5 points (@NotPinnock)


My point situation has never been more dismal but on the plus side I've never been more proud of my younger brother. I wish I could remember what was going to happen this week because I'd write about line-ups now. Oh well.

Also, the Commish and I were talking about a blog post of your top 5 Jersey Shore situations ever. No way Snooki's performance on Monday doesn't rank somewhere in there. That episode and the time she got jacked in the face. That situation was classic.

And that's how the situation is situated.

My Vagina's Out: Week 3 Scores

What up #JSFL? This post is for last Monday's episode aka the one in which Snooki rearranged the leaderboard. My one week reign of terror has ended. I'm sure you're all so upset to hear that. Enough about me though. Scores are heah!

Here are the numbers as reported by Commissioner Amsterdam:

POINTS ARE HEEEEEEEERRRRRREEE!!!!

Most diverse scoring week so far, with everyone but Ronnie putting in some value. Of course, D-Block Snooki lead the way by a wiiiiiiddddde margin. Just a hunch: J-Woww is gonna have a similarly disparate lead over the competition tonight.

Here's how the episode went down:

Snooki : 63 total: 6 for Inappropriate conduct x2 (one for drinking in store, one for leaving work to chill); 5 for cops talk to you; 50 for gerring arrested; 1 for saying 'situation'; 1 for saying 'smushing'
New Girl : 10.5 total: 3 for getting kicked out of bar; 7.5 for hookup with roommate bonus
J-Woww: 1 total: 1 for calling boyfriend
Sammi : 8 total: cried twice for 4 points each
Mike : 19.5 total: made out twice for 12.5, including once with roommate; said "Situation" twice (maybe his all-time low); brought home a random for 5
Pauly : 6 total: 5 for bringing home random; 1 for saying 'guidos'
Vinnie : 10 total: 5 for bringing home random; 5 for making out

Commish note: I don't disagree with Charlie about Vinnie getting all the close calls, so I'm gonna keep his smush points out. However, I'm going to ask for a vote as to whether to count both of his 'questionable' smush scores (this week and last) or to keep this week out to balance out the uncertainty. We need 5 out of 8 votes to apply the contested 15 for this week, and mine will be the first 'yay'. Anyone else?

Best,
Your Most Noble Commish

************

After some email chain debates I think we decided on something. I can't remember what though. I was Snooki drunk during that whole debate.

Week 3 Starting Line-ups and Points

Frog: Snooki star (126), Vinnie (10), Sammi (8)
Andy: Snooki star (126), Vinnie (10), Deena (10.5)
@ckalange: Snooki star (126), Situation (19.5), Sammi (8)
Owen: Snooki star: (126), Ron (0), Deena (10.5)
@mattsisto: Situation star (39), Vinnie (10), DJ Pauly D (6)
@poloshot: Vinnie star (20), Situation (19.5), Jwoww (1)
@mikedashin: Sammi star (16), Ron (0), Deena (10.5)
@NotPinnock: Ron star (0), Situation (19.5), Jwoww (1)

Week 3 Team Scoring:

@ckalange: 153.5
Andy: 146.5
Frog: 144
Owen: 136.5
@mattsisto: 55
@poloshot: 40.5
@mikedashin: 26.5
@NotPinnock: 20.5

Big Board after Week 3:

1st) 251 points (Owen)
2nd) 243.5 points (Andy)
3rd) 225.5 points (@ckalange)
4th) 176.5 points (Owen)
5th) 175 points (@mattsisto)
6th) 146.5 points (@poloshot)
7th) 86.5 points (@mikedashin)
8th) 81.5 points (@NotPinnock)


So there you have it folks. I'm just mad at myself for drafting DJ Pauly D 2nd round over Snooki. Maybe this season is all about the girls reclaiming the party crown after last year's MVP domination. We'll see how the situation situates itself.

Vinnie is King of the Smoosh: Week 2 Scores

Greetings fellow Guido Juice-heads.

Another great week in the books and we have a double Shore week ahead of us! The only thing that could please me more is if Tom Brady chokes to death on a penis. (Sorry @NotPinnock). But enough NY/NE vitriol! Let's get to the scores!

The newly appointed Commissioner just sent me the score email and I'll post it verbatim:

Subject: Scores are here

Very top heavy week this week

J-Woww: 16 (fight for 10 x 1.5) (call bf for 1)
Snooki: 1 ("We're in fucking Seaside, bitch")
Sam: 19 (fight for 10 x 1.5) (cried for 4)
Mike: 11 (said "situation" 5 times) (brought home random for 5) ('late' to work for 1)
Paul: 1 (said "guido")
Vin: 40 (smash for 15) (make-out x4 for 20) (brought home random for 5
Ronnie: 0
New girl: 0

One bit of commentary from your commish for the blog: new girl is far too reliant on catch phrases. "blast in a glass" "party in a body" "walking holiday"??? It's becoming too much. And don't get me started on "flip the cup". It's Flip-Cup, bitch!

That's all.

Much love
Commissioner Amsterdam

So what does that mean for your team?

Week 2 Starting Line-ups and Points


Frog: Vinnie star (80), Ron (0), Sammi (19)
@mattsisto: Sammi star (38), Situation (11), Vinnie (40)
@poloshot: Jwoww star (32), Vinnie (40), DJ Pauly D (1)
Andy: Jwoww star (32), Vin (40), Deena (0)
@NotPinnock: Jwoww star (32) Situation (11), Ron (0)
@ckalange: Sammi star (38), Situation (11), Deena (0)
@mikedashin: Sammi star (38), Deena (0), DJ Pauly D (1)
Owen: Jwoww star (32), Snooki (1), Deena (0)

Week 2 Team Scoring:

Frog: 99
@mattsisto: 89
@poloshot: 73
Andy: 72
@ckalange: 49
@NotPinnock: 43
@mikedashin: 39
Owen: 33

Big Board after Week 2

1st) 120 points (@mattsisto)
2nd) 107 points (Frog)
3rd) 106 points (@poloshot)
4th) 97 points (Andy)
5th) 72 points (@ckalange)
6th) 61 points (@NotPinnock)
7th) 60 points (@mikedashin)
8th) 40 points (Owen)

So there ya have it. Frog's GREAT roster play puts him in third place over-all. Of course, all of this is subject to change with Snooki's potential 150 point plus show on Monday. I think I also saw in the preview that she, Deena, and Sitch talk around having a threesome. If that happens she'll have roommate hook-up points multiplied BY THREE. Think about it: that's a hook-up multiplied by 1.5 with the roommate but then it's also a threesome so that multiplies by 3? Someone is going to have to draw out an equation for me because frankly trying to calculate how to apply those multipliers feels like calculus.

But looking at these scores I'm actually less worried about it than I had been after first seeing the preview. It's entirely possible that a team that doesn't have Snook could get a few other hook ups from other characters later. God knows Snooki will probably tone it down after getting arrested. At least, that's what a normal person might do. But with the #JSFL you have to throw out the rule book on standard reality television behavior.

Some other odds and ends from around the league:

We discussed adding some extra 1 point categories for "Cabs are here" and "T-shirt time"

We discussed the merits of a head-to-head weekly match-up and playoff system for next year ala Fantasy Football. This isn't so much up for debate as much as to say next year it's happening because it's a brilliant idea.

However, all changes will be put to the league for ratification at the half way point between episodes 9 and 10. That may be sooner than we think if they keep doubling up weeks. Not that I'm complaining. I'd watch them try to get a beach ball off the roof every night if I could. The only thing I don't want to see is Ronnie and Sam lying in bed. I wish we could somehow penalize them for that but I digress.

That's how the situation is situated. See y'all on the twitter on Monday night.



New Note:

@ckalange and I have spent the last hour or so arguing about the point value for Vinnie's quadruple kiss. Here's my take:

While Charlie's math and logic makes perfect sense, I'm hung up on the idea of using a three time's multiplier for a triple kiss. It just makes sense in my head for the triple kiss to be worth three-times a normal kiss. For instance, if it were called a double kiss I would have no problem using a 2x multiplier. Triple Kiss= 3x multiplier. In the case of Vinnie's Quadruple kiss, my logic would follow that quadruple = 4x multiplier for a grand total of 20 points.

Here's what Charlie has to say:

My argument is as follows. The #JSFL Point-sheet Template awards 5pts for a cast member making out with another person. We saw handfuls of these instances over the course of Season 2, with DJ Pauly D, Sitch, and Vinnie all getting 5pts here and there for making out with one other person at a time. We also recall the early days of Jersey Shore Miami when Ron-Ron prioritized living in the moment over a long-term loving relationship with Sammi and infamously went in for the "triple kiss" at a club and was consequently awarded 15pts by the #JSFL for his feat.

This was a slight miscalculation in my mind, because the term "triple kiss" really refers to a makeout x2. Therefore, the act should be awarded 5pts (x2) for 10pts. However, when the term "triple kiss" is uttered, there is an unmistakable urge to pair it with the number three, or a 3x multiplier, as was the case with the Ron-Ron triple kiss, when in fact it should have only been awarded 10pts for making out with two people, not three (Ron didn't kiss himself, he kissed two other people).

This however set a precedent for awarding Vinnie 20pts for a "four-way kiss" (i.e. Vinnie kisses three other people) in Episode 2 of Season 3. While the sample size of multi-participant kisses is low (just the contended error with Ronnie from Season 2), I think the sample size for single makeout points is much larger, with each occurrence being awarded 5pts to the cast member participant. The question is two-fold: what is the correct score according to the point template, and what makeout precedent really holds more weight? I contend that making out with one person = 5pts, two people = 10pts (aka triple kiss), and three people = 15pts (aka four-way kiss).

Long-winded? Yes. But it's better than letting a breeze blow through my argument. What say the #JSFL?

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I'd appreciate any input from the rest of the league. @NotPinnock has weighed in and sided with me. We have yet to hear from the rest of the league. We should try to resolve this issue before Monday just so we can set a precedent and move on to the rest of the season.